Journey Back Home
It was to be a beautiful day. Although the morning was cloudy. We were headed to my grandmother's house. I knew I was not ready. It my mind it was decided I would not go inside until he left. I would leave after I dropped my mother off to be with my cousins.
To look on the mans face who'd molested me as a child, my grandfather, I could not bear at all. Still knowing we pull into the driveway and there he is. Tears immediately stream down my face. I see what had been done to me and I look to the floor of my van. "I can not do this." I cry. He is there, standing by my window I will not crack.
My children sleeping. I get in the drivers seat. He could not see my child - my daughter. The stress on my unborn son. I said see you later and down the drive I went. Seeing the hurt on my grandmothers face. The disappointment in my mothers eyes. One day, I would break the generational curse. But today I needed to drive way. The morning was truly cloudy...
Three months later I am on the road again in morning. The sun shined unlike before. Today I determined was a new day, I can do it, I will do it - today I will see my grandmother. I will sit and talk to her. However my beloved aunt accomplished this task day after day, week after week - I knew this meant I could do it as well. Unlike before we pull in front of the house, this time he does not come out. I pray behind the four doors of my mini van. I ask God for His help. This is the place I considered home for years. As I take my first steps toward a door of the home I pray again...
I hear the loud cheers within as he greets my sister. I pray. I open the door. And I pray. I look at his face. And I pray. He embraces me...And I pray not for me, but for him. I pray he is healed. I did it!! Then I stay. I talk with my grandmother for a while, now more confident in the power God placed in me. This was my journey back home. The task which confirmed, I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.
God is faithful! If ever I lack faith in his promises I look back on the day I walked into that home. When I let me children play with their cousin without regret, knowing God would keep them safe. What was written for me is not written for them. I placed my trust in God, He is my help in trouble. A bridge. And through me, my family will be healed - Restored, Renewed, and Redeemed.
To look on the mans face who'd molested me as a child, my grandfather, I could not bear at all. Still knowing we pull into the driveway and there he is. Tears immediately stream down my face. I see what had been done to me and I look to the floor of my van. "I can not do this." I cry. He is there, standing by my window I will not crack.
My children sleeping. I get in the drivers seat. He could not see my child - my daughter. The stress on my unborn son. I said see you later and down the drive I went. Seeing the hurt on my grandmothers face. The disappointment in my mothers eyes. One day, I would break the generational curse. But today I needed to drive way. The morning was truly cloudy...
Three months later I am on the road again in morning. The sun shined unlike before. Today I determined was a new day, I can do it, I will do it - today I will see my grandmother. I will sit and talk to her. However my beloved aunt accomplished this task day after day, week after week - I knew this meant I could do it as well. Unlike before we pull in front of the house, this time he does not come out. I pray behind the four doors of my mini van. I ask God for His help. This is the place I considered home for years. As I take my first steps toward a door of the home I pray again...
I hear the loud cheers within as he greets my sister. I pray. I open the door. And I pray. I look at his face. And I pray. He embraces me...And I pray not for me, but for him. I pray he is healed. I did it!! Then I stay. I talk with my grandmother for a while, now more confident in the power God placed in me. This was my journey back home. The task which confirmed, I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.
God is faithful! If ever I lack faith in his promises I look back on the day I walked into that home. When I let me children play with their cousin without regret, knowing God would keep them safe. What was written for me is not written for them. I placed my trust in God, He is my help in trouble. A bridge. And through me, my family will be healed - Restored, Renewed, and Redeemed.
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